resistance.

In resisting the urge to post some massively emo song lyrics, I'm just going to ramble I suppose. I don't know what I actually want to post about (aside from Jason Mraz-style comfort for the soul).


Frankly, I had a pretty emo day; it was the first day I actually had a whole bunch of stuff I have to do. Ohhh how Thursdays suck. I taught leadership, halfway through which I fell into some intense sadness, to the point of feeling nauseous. The rest of the day was in and out of sad. Leadership meeting (it was mentioned), 4P44 class with Andy (definitely talked about, mentioned to teacher), Placement class (had to mention memorial to teacher). The conclusion from such a day is that venturing back out into the outside world requires a whole new set of coping skills.

Fuck coping skills. I'm just beginning to cope with my own damn mind.
Sometimes I feel like "coping skills" is actually just stifling how I actually feel; why can't I just fucking act on how I feel?! (but I don't mean in doing the big deal stuff that scares people).


4P44 was also triggering in other ways today too... but whatever. *eye roll*



...there was no structure to this entry...sorry...