balancing, act-free

I guess the residual theme that has stayed with me since Eat Pray Love, is the importance of "balance". I'm not going to lie: balance has never been important to me, which is good because it has been so elusive from my grasp for the entire first 23 years and 9 months of my life. Doctors say this is me having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I think it's weird to say that because I feel as though saying "I have OCD" is interpreted as just a melodramatic self-interpretation of quirks, but it's a medical opinion, I promise. This has resulted in my newest dose of medication, and now I finally have a way to start battling it!! Frankly, until it started working, I didn't really mind it.

Zero into NOW: Week by week, my life has started forming some of its own balance, with no extra effort or determination. It feels so far from throwing myself into big plans, then throwing myself into laziness, lather, rinse, repeat. I clean when it needs it, I workout without obsession, I cook for fun, play games/watch TV when I feel like it, etc, etc, etc. I don't overeat. I can have e-conversations with my friends without needing to fill the electronic silence characteristic of texting and msning. And it's so weird that it just kind of all happened on its own: this is no balancing act. This is just balance. Like real people; like the people they talk about in the first paragraph of 7 Habits for Highly Effective Teens (I've been envious of them since I read that book as am eager 15 year old).

The best part about it, is that this balance feels so carefree. 

(Visual representation of carefree balance)

When I go nuts trying to achieve this kind of life, the juggling balls inevitably collapse in on me and leave me with two black eyes. But this time I'm not juggling, I don't need to physically juggle; if anything, I'm using The Force. So watch your shit.

;) Jay/Kay