eatpraylove? or whatever...

When I picked up the book Eat Pray Love about a year ago, I discarded it. A review I just read (and quickly lost the link) said it perfectly: You pick it up knowing it has a happy ending. Someone like me puts it back down.

I wanted to see the movie, though, because I'm okay with the shiny, happy endings staying in movies where they belong, and I wanted to know what actually happened in the book. I expected to like the movie, which I did. What I didn't expect was the bit of inspiration I got from it. I wouldn't say it changed my life, because it didn't; the three things she learned to do (I bet you can deduce what they are) are not things I'm really interested in achieving. I'm not interested in learning prayer or faith, I'm a LONG way from being ready to learn to love (profound, I know), and I'm pretty sure we all know I don't need to learn to eat.

What I did learn was in the final voice over soliloquy by Julia Roberts.

I felt like she was saying exactly what I needed to hear. Man I tried hard to memorized even the key words of what she said, but failed miserably. The overall message, though, was that spending time with yourself, leaving your world behind, can be such a growing experience. That it's how you learn to be your own person, be your own best friend, and find... well the soliloquy I'm pretty sure said the "your truth". This term is so ambiguous and its wording renders me ambivalent - I'm not much for the "t" word. If you think of it as your personal truth, however, one that differs from anyone else's, I can stomach it. I can even be enthused about it.

What it means for me is how to be happy as my own person without being as dependent on my friends as I am, as hopeless as I feel, and as... empty I can feel in those moments. That being by myself can be as fulfilling as anything else.

Or something.

But Eat Pray Love? That's how she got there. Here I am on my own, leaving my life behind me, maybe forging my own life, but do I need my own three stepping stones?

Or am I just jumping on the EPL bandwagon of people who are likely rushing to their travel agents (I think that's what people use?) to book trips to at least one of the beautifully advertised exotic locales? I guess it doesn't matter either way, it just serves as another good push for me to thrive out here instead of curl into the fetal position cradling my Blackberry. The latter will still happen once in a while, and I have the most amazing friends on the end of the line willing to humour me ♥, and hopefully I always will hahaha, but also I hope (and I'm sure they agree) that the need will decrease as I get more comfortable and spend more quality time with myself.

We'll see.